The message makes references to the following Bible passages: 1 John 1:4-7, Philippians 2:5-11, Psalm 121. Their text is at the bottom of the message.
This is big. You've planned and prayed and looked forward with anticipation to this day because it's huge. It's one of the biggest things you'll ever do in your life. And God agrees with you that it's big. What you are doing here today, as we've said already, is creating a little picture of what it looks like for the Creator of the Universe to be united with the people He has made who are his Church. This is so big that we really don't have words to describe it. Will and Amanda, today you are creating a picture of the biggest thing that will ever happen in human history.
That's one of the reasons you make the promises you are about to make. We promise love, faithfulness, patience and so much else to our spouses in marriage because that's what it takes to make a true picture of God's love, faithfulness and patience towards his people. And that's what makes things like divorce and adultery so terrible; not only do they violate the promises we make to each other at weddings, but they ruin the picture of Christ and his Church that we are making when we get married.
Is divorce OK? Only if it's OK for Christ to divorce His church. Is adultery OK? Only if it's OK for the church to turn away from Jesus to follow after other gods. When we look at it in this light, we can see that abuse of marriage is something near to blasphemy, because it tells lies about God and about His relationship to His people.
So, Will and Amanda, one of the things we are doing today is telling the truth about God and His relationship to His people. And the first truth to emphasize is that the foundation of that relationship is love. That's what we see in 1 John 4:7-12, the first passage that you selected to be read was read. God is love. The love you have for each other is founded on His love, and you love each other only because He has made you able to do it.
Love motivated God to send His Son to earth to pay the price for our sin and to reconcile us to Himself in his death on the cross. Love enables Him to embrace us when we turn from our sins and make Jesus Lord of our lives. And love is what has Him preparing the biggest wedding feast of all time for His church in the day that Jesus comes again and calls us to Himself. Any portrayal of God must have love as its foundation, and so your marriage, founded on your love for each other, truly shows us a miniature representation of God's vast and passionate love for us, His people.
But to show us God's love properly, not just any love will do. So much of what we call love these days is no more than an agreement that if you scratch my back I'll scratch yours. "So long as you meet my needs, titillate me, and make me feel special I'll love you, but when that stops it's over." This is no model of God's love for us and it's no foundation for a stable marriage.
The love that God shows us, and that you will need to show each other in order for your marriage to thrive, is described for us in Philippians 2:5-11, the second of the passages that was read. This is an entirely different sort of love than most of us are able to show each other most of the time. It's a love that gives up its rights, and accepts suffering and humiliation if that's what it takes for the beloved to become the kind of person that he or she is meant to be.
As we see in this passage, Jesus has rights. He's the incarnate Son of God, the One who dwells in heaven with the Father, who with the Father created everything that ever has been or will be. He deserves worship, honor, praise, obedience and every other good thing we could possibly give him. But instead of demanding his rights, he set them aside and became one of us, being born in an animal's feeding trough, growing up as a poor man in a poor village, serving people who didn't deserve it and ultimately dying an agonizing and humiliating death for the good of people who hated him. This is the kind of love God has for us and this is the kind of love you are called to have for each other.
Hopefully neither of you will have to suffer a humiliating death for the good of the other. But you will almost certainly find that there are times when you not getting the good that you expect from the other person. The other person may not be doing a fair share of the chores or giving you the kind of attention you had hoped for. Or the person may have needs that require more from you than you want to give. You may disagree on how to spend your money or time. All of these issues and more are likely to surface in a marriage at some point. The question is what you will do about them if they surface in your marriage.
If you are modeling the love that Christ has for his Church as described in this passage, you will not hang onto your rights at the expense of your spouse. Instead you will set aside the claims you have on your beloved, humble yourself by taking the form of a servant, and become obedient, even if it feels like you are dying as a result. You will do this, trusting that, as God raised Jesus from death to glory, He will also raise you to life, as you follow in Jesus' ways.
But how on earth does someone love in such a sacrificial way? The answer is given to us in Psalm 121, the third of the readings you chose for today. You lift up your eyes to the hills and seek your help from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. Nothing less will do. If you cannot draw on the Lord's help to love your spouse, then you will not be able to model the Lord's love for your spouse.
If you turn to the Lord for help, you will always find Him. The Lord will not doze off, or be away on a business trip. He will not lose track of the issues in your life or be caught off guard if something painful occurs. There's no way you will ever hear God say "whoops, I didn't expect that to happen!" The Lord will be your keeper, and the keeper of your marriage, as long as you both shall live, and nothing will come your way that He cannot make beautiful.
But how do we do this in real life? How do we, in the midst of the challenges we will face in our lives together, grab hold of God's power to overcome them? We do it the way Jesus did, as we are told in Hebrews 12:1-2.
Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
To overcome the challenges you will face, like Jesus, you will need to look to the joy set before you and draw strength from that anticipation to run the race with endurance.
That's what you did as you prepared for this day. It was hard work to plan the ceremony, buy the supplies, and recruit people who would be do everything that needed to be done. But in the midst of all the challenges, you could remember the joy set before you, the joy of this day, and draw strength from your anticipation to do what needed to be done to make it happen.
In the same way, the Lord will strengthen you to love your spouse as Christ loved the church if you consider the joys set before you. There is joy coming tonight. In the morning there will be the joy of waking up next to each other and realizing that you're finally married. In the days to come there will be joy as milestones are achieved and successes are shared. It won't often be as amazing as the joy you have today, but joy doesn't always need fireworks in order to be rich and strong. Joy can come in the ordinary things of life and even in the trials, if you defend and cultivate your joy.
One way to do this is by cultivating gratitude. Rather than listening to the world tell you about all the things you're missing out on, remember the good things you have and say thanks to God and to your spouse for what they have done to make those good things possible. Gratitude is one of the best antidotes to joylessness there is. The more frequently and sincerely you can say thanks, the easier it will be to be joyful even in the midst of tough times, and the more joy you will give to your spouse as well.
And keep looking for ways to encourage each other. That can mean doing something special for the other person to enjoy, or it can be lifting a burden that the other person is struggling to carry. Each time you do this, you start the gratitude cycle all over again, bringing more joy into your marriage.
Finally, remember the big joy that is set before you, the joy of heaven. If you trust your lives into Jesus' hands and obediently follow in his ways, in the end he will welcome you into heaven with the words "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master." Not only will this joy be far greater and more enduring than any joy we have ever known before, the Bible assures us in 2 Corinthians 7:14 that this joy will make even the worst suffering in this life look like a fleck of ocean spray in comparison to the ocean itself. If you let this vision of the transcendent joy of heaven be the secure foundation of your love for each other, your love will truly never fail.
Will and Amanda, as you cultivate joy in your marriage, you will make it easier to love each other with Christ-like love and your marriage will look more and more like the relationship of Christ and his Church. This is God's intent for your marriage, and, to the extent that you succeed in it, you will glorify him and delight each other. Go for it! We'll pray for you, encourage you and support you however we can. May God give you every success in this lovely endeavor.
1 John 4:7-12
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
Philippians 2:5-11
5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Psalm 121
A Song of Ascents.
I lift up my eyes to the hills.From where does my help come?2 My help comes from the Lord,who made heaven and earth.3 He will not let your foot be moved;he who keeps you will not slumber.4 Behold, he who keeps Israelwill neither slumber nor sleep.5 The Lord is your keeper;the Lord is your shade on your right hand.6 The sun shall not strike you by day,nor the moon by night.7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;he will keep your life.8 The Lord will keepyour going out and your coming infrom this time forth and forevermore.
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