This message makes reference to the hymn "The Solid Rock" by Edward Mote and the Bible passage Philippians 2:5-11. The text these passages can be found at the end of the message.
In your choice of hymn and Scripture reading, you’ve made it clear that you’re aware that there are challenges ahead. The hymn “The Solid Rock” speaks of stormy gales, darkness, and a whelming flood; not things your “happily ever after” Disney prince and princess would be expecting. And the passage out of Philippians talks about emptying oneself, becoming like a servant, being obedient through the cruel suffering of crucifixion and finally dying a painful death. When I’ve counseled people who were struggling with life circumstances I’ve sometimes suggested that, when all else fails, they should consider lowering their expectations, but I may not have to do that with you, because in some ways your expectations are already as low as they can go.
Some would say that this is an awfully depressing way to approach marriage, and if that’s the best you could look forward to, then it might be better not to get married. But singleness can be hard too. Life itself is hard. We are mortal, fallible sinners and we live among mortal, fallible sinners so we have to expect troubles in life. We can’t avoid them simply by closing our eyes and sticking our fingers in our ears and refusing to see or hear the truth.
So the question before you is not “how can we avoid suffering in our marriage?” because that’s impossible, but “how can we live together in a way that glorifies of God and blesses each other in a world that is indelibly marked by suffering?” To that question, the hymn and Scripture passage that you’ve chosen point us towards the answer.
The hymn “The Solid Rock” affirms that Jesus’ blood and righteousness are our hope, that He provides a secure hold for our anchor when the storm rages around us and that His covenant and blood sustain us when all else is being swept away in a great flood. It repeatedly declares that Christ is the solid Rock on which we stand and that on Him we can rest securely even in the face of great struggle and loss. If this is indeed the case, that Christ is such a solid Rock and on Him you are securely anchored, then you have the resources to face whatever trials you may face in the years to come.
But what makes Christ such a secure Rock? How can a Jewish teacher who lived two thousand years ago protect us against the trials of illness, heartache and loss that we could encounter in the years to come? The answer to that is given in the Bible passage that was read to us from the book of Philippians. Jesus Christ is a secure Rock in a tumultuous world because He didn’t stay dead.
After the religious and political powers of the day had done all that they could do, whipping, beating and finally crucifying Him, His body was laid in a tomb, behind a massive stone, under military guard and it was over. Or at least so one would have thought. But a few days later, the stone was moved, the body was no longer in the grave, and Jesus walked among His disciples, teaching them, eating breakfast with them, and commissioning them to tell His story to the world. Then God raised Jesus up to heaven, where He sits until He comes again to judge the earth. On that day you and I and everyone who sits here and everyone who has ever lived will bow before Him, for there will be no greater power in all the universe than Jesus.
All this was possible because this Jesus Christ who was raised from death is the Son of God. He existed before all creation and through Him the universe was made. He who made the universe and will one day publicly rule it all has all the power that could ever be needed to securely protect us in the midst of any trials we could ever encounter. Nothing and no one could be a more solid Rock on which to stand than He.
But power isn’t enough to meet our needs. There are plenty of powerful people in the world, and they typically don’t do us much good. The people with lots of money or influence move in other circles than we do, and they rarely take note of us, let alone have compassion on us in the midst of our struggles. How could we expect God, who dwells in heaven, for whom the universe is a small thing, to take note of us or care for us when we hurt?
But Jesus, though He was of the form of God, who lived in heaven with God the Father from the beginning, didn’t insist on moving in His own circle, avoiding motley people like us. He emptied himself of His splendor, and became small like us. He was born, not in a palace, not in a clean sterile hospital room, but in a manger with flies that smelled of animals. He was poor, and walked among poor people, and cared for them, healing them, feeding them, teaching them. And Jesus suffered like us, enduring hunger, scorn, ridicule, cruel pain and finally death. This Jesus, who is King of creation, was also once one of us, and He knows what we suffer, and He cares about it.
This is the Solid Rock on which we stand, on the mighty, compassionate, humble Lord Jesus Christ. And we are called to be like Him, to have the same kind of mind that He had. One that is willing to lay aside our own rights, privileges and status and endure suffering and hardship for the sake of others. All of us who are believers are called to this path, but this passage as a particular application to you, Geoff, as you become Elizabeth’s husband.
In Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. You, Geoff, are specifically called to love Elizabeth with the attitude of Christ, laying down your prerogatives, walking alongside her, and caring for her whatever the cost. Paul tells us that Christ did loved His people this way “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Jesus endured all the suffering and finally death for a purpose, to make his people clean and beautiful, and He is your role model, Geoff. Your purpose in serving Elizabeth should be to help her become as beautiful as God intends for her to be.
In the same passage, Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands as Christ to the church. This is hard for us to hear today, because the word submit has become so toxic; it sounds demeaning and abusive to ask a woman to submit to her husband, but this is not at all what Paul has in mind. We might come closer to Paul’s meaning if we think of two really good swing dancers on the floor. The man leads the woman, not for his own glory, but for hers, to make her look good. She follows his lead not because she has been coerced into submission, but because she knows that he intends for her to look good. He’s placing his strength at her service so she can do what would otherwise be impossible. The woman submits to the man’s leadership throughout the dance because she knows that by doing so she will look as good as she possibly can, and the man leads the woman as he does for exactly the same reason.
Elizabeth, this is your role in marriage. In your dance with Geoff, you are to follow his lead, as he strives to give himself for you as Christ did for the church. And as swing dancers do not passively wait for their follower’s lead, you are not to passively wait on Geoff. Rather you must pour yourself into the dance, giving everything you have into making the dance a beautiful thing, even as he gives everything he has for your sake. As Geoff seeks to make you beautiful, you must seek with all your heart to receive what he has to give, and to use it to be as beautiful as God intends for you to be.
This is hard work. Living a Christ-like, God honoring marriage is as difficult an undertaking as anything in life. We are not perfect dancers. We’ll step on each other’s toes, miss our steps, get discouraged and be tempted to take over the other person’s role or just sit on the sidelines. Which is why you shouldn’t do marriage alone. The people with you today have declared their intent to support you as you seek to keep your promises to each other. You will need their prayers, encouragement and help along the way. Wherever you go in life, always strive to be in a community of believers who can through good counsel, encouragement, good examples, practical help and prayer give you the help that you will need through the challenges of life. And seek, as God enables you, to give these back in return, for there will be other married couples who will need the same help you do.
And hold tight to Jesus in all you do. Just as Jesus modeled the self-giving leadership that Geoff is to live out, so he also models the faithful following that you, Elizabeth, are to live out. Jesus followed God’s lead in everything, even into deep suffering, for the sake of the joy and splendor set before Him. He laid aside all His glory that in the end it might be given back to Him in even greater abundance. As you seek to follow Geoff’s lead in everything, be assured that God will be leading you through whatever trials you encounter to a joy and splendor that transcends them all. And Geoff, as you seek to give all you have for Elizabeth’s sake, be assured that, though sometimes the giving is costly indeed, God will return it all to you in even greater abundance and joy.
Some of this joy will come in this life. Though dancing it is hard work, is also fun. This great dance of marriage, though it is the hardest work you will ever do, brings some of the greatest joys you can have in this life. As you pour yourselves into the dance, seeking with all your hearts to lead and follow, give and receive, bless and be blessed as well as you possibly can, you will find moments of transcendent delight. This is what you were made for, and there is surpassing joy in doing exactly what God made you to do.
But even the greatest joys you have in this life will be small compared with the joy set before you, that joy set before all of us who belong to Jesus Christ.
The Solid Rock
My hope is built on nothing lessThan Jesus’ blood and righteousness;I dare not trust the sweetest frame,But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
Refrain:On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;All other ground is sinking sand,All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,I rest on His unchanging grace;In every high and stormy gale,My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His bloodSupport me in the whelming flood;When all around my soul gives way,He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,Oh, may I then in Him be found;Dressed in His righteousness alone,Faultless to stand before the throne.
Philippians 2:5-11
5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
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